Ladies Don't Play Fair
by Lunar-L
Summary: An exhausted Ladybug just wants a little peace and quiet after a long day of akuma fighting. Chat has other plans and is being relentless with his usual flirting and puns. Ladybug needs to find a way to shut him up and NOW.


This was based on an anoymous writing prompt I received on Tumblr

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 **Ladies Don't Play Fair**

She was going to murder him. She was. If she could just work up the energy to do so.

It'd been such a long day, with a particularly nasty plant-controlling akuma to tackle and Ladybug was sure time was slowing down on purpose now to draw out tonight's joint patrol with Chat. After the battle was over, she had tried to convince him that a patrol so soon after an attack was just a waste of time and had reminded him just how tiring the battle had been. In all honesty, she had just wanted to go home, work on a few designs and maybe catch an early night. There were so few early nights these days and the fight had completely drained any spark of stamina she may have had left.

But Chat had been insistent that if Hawkmoth was ever going to make a slip up it would probably come right after he'd had one of his more trying akumas beaten; she'd had to agree with his logic on that one.

But, as she was starting to realise, this was a huge mistake. An hour or two had not been enough time for Chat to wind down and he was a relentless steam train of energy and cheesy lines tonight. She watched as he bounded across rooftops, occasionally jumping atop the chimney's and leaping from them before landing back on the roofs again. From what she could tell he had no other purpose than to get within earshot so he could tell her how " _purrrf_ ectly" happy he was to be spending time with her.

And so homicide was on her mind. But how to inflict the most damage in the process? Throttling him with her yo-yo was her favourite so far but it would take too much effort on her part for her liking.

She stopped atop the _Arc de Triomphe_ for a break and pinched the bridge of her nose as Chat landed beside her, his grin wide enough to be blinding had there been enough light left to reflect it at this time of evening.

"What's the matter My Lady?" he asked her playfully, "Has my presence left you all weak in the knees?"

In response Ladybug gave him a light groan and side eyed him with as much force as her tired body could muster. He simply raised an eyebrow in response and smirked. After a moment, she sighed and sat down on the landmark in silent surrender to her aching body, leaning back to support her weight on her hands behind her.

"Look Kitty, I'm too tired for this and you should be thankful my arm and hand feels too heavy to give you a shove for talking so much."

Chat's face softened for a moment as he regarded her comment before his smirk returned and quickly grew almost dangerous in appearance. He quickly crouched down beside her and leaned his face in towards hers.

"If your hand is heavy My Lady, I'll happily hold it for you." He waggled his eyebrows for effect.

"Chat-" she started, her voice low and ominous.

"Come on, I'm only _kitten_ with you." he replied clearly unconcerned.

"I mean it _Minou_ , I'm not in the mood." She had to shut him up somehow. He was enjoying this far too much. He'd gone from crouching beside her to lowering himself onto all fours, his face closer now but leaving enough space for her to pull back at any time. His smirk was ever present and there was laughter in his eyes. He could clearly tell she was more irritated than genuinely uncomfortable and was enjoying pushing her buttons. His face contorted in fabricated hurt at her last comment and his hand pressed against his chest as if injured.

" _Meow_ -ch! Fiery tonight I see? I guess it's a good thing my suit has gloves-"

"Don't you dare-"

"-Because you're too hot to handle."

"What are you? 12?"

"Yup. On a scale of 1-10. Talking of numbers, do you like math?"

"No, now stop this or I swear-"

" _Cos_ I think our _sine's_ are compatible."

He was openly snickering between lines at the eye rolls now; and at what he thought were empty threats. Little did he know. "Chat," she said in a low cautionary tone, "this is your last chance to stop. No more warnings."

"Aww, she won't let me _whisker_ off her feet. When-"

As soon as he had used a pun she had been determined to go ahead with her idea. She leaned into the small space he had left between their faces and crushed her lips to his in a fraction of a second. The surprised sound he made in the back of his throat as contact was established between them was incredibly satisfying and she smirked against him. She kept it light and chaste and broke away as quickly as she started to see his wide unblinking eyes foggy and unfocused.

The tinkling sound of her giggle seemed to snap him back to reality and his eyes refocused on her, his lids fluttering rapidly as he attempted to come back to his senses. The area immediately beneath his mask began to darken as a blush stained his skin. Chat's mouth opened and closed uselessly as he attempted to form words and Ladybug just giggled again. Then she couldn't help herself; the pun that occurred to her just slipped out.

"What's the matter Kitty, cat got your tongue?"

His brows furrowed as he started to process what had just happened and he raised a hand to uselessly gesture towards her with his pointer finger but, blissfully, he still produced no words. She no longer let out tinkling giggles but instead burst into full hysterical laughter at the way his balance began to fail him and she watched as he fell backwards, hands sprawled out in an attempt to catch himself. It was too much and she pulled herself to her feet with difficulty, holding her sides (which were shaking with mirth) until she calmed down enough to speak again.

"I told you, you talk too much," Ladybug told him with a smirk, all her previous exhaustion forgotten. She wiped a tear from her eye as she turned to look out at the city, searching for a point to anchor her yo-yo. She was just about to swing away from the famous archway when Chat's voice finally returned to him.

"Well, if that's what's in it for me every time I talk too much, I think I'm about to get a whole lot _chat_ tier from now on."

Ladybug's hand hit her face with enough force to leave a red mark reminiscent of her suit.


End file.
